Oink’s blog

Suggested QOTD

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Fri, 16 May 2008 10:27:47 +0100

Given that every QOTD at the moment seems to be about being rude to people, people being mean to us, things we've done wrong, etc, disappointments, I thought I'd hop on the bandwagon and suggest the following:

"When was the last time you burped?"

I think we've covered social gracelessness quite enough for now and so surely we should move onto bodily forms.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Fantasy Cave Team

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:23:53 +0100

To to take my mind off of all of this nonsense (basically my entire day) I'd like to introduce something even more nonsensical and to invite contributions, including if you like lists of your own. It's a game we've (Big Boy and I) sort of been playing for quite a while now, and not even when drunk, that you could call Fantasy Cave Team. Like Fantasy Football League, but it has a cave and is about who I'd invite to join me in the unlikely event of the total collapse of civilisation. So get those flint rocks at the ready and think about who to include, if you can be arsed.

On my team:

Big Boy - for the sex, the love, the Adam and Eve-ing, the fact that he's just about the cleverest yet most modest person I know, and the fact that if anyone was going to be my caveman it would be him.

Next, I'd have to bring along my favourite sister (plus her husband and children) not for the fact that she can cook (she can't), has a natural curiosity that would help us succeed (she doesn't), or for any other reason other than that I adore her and wouldn't like to think she'd been snatched from someone else's cave by a lion.

Next (since no one really old can come, and no one so young that they couldn't contribute to our immediate survival) I'll have to start picking from my friends and later from Big Boy's relatives. Next is J, who would bring his natural curiosity and creativity, plus his companionship until I drive him up the wall with my lack of anything useful to contribute personally.

Next we have R, J's boyfriend, and my friend, who would be a good peace-maker, and so delegate to the other caves, cook, and highly effective cleaner.

I think now I might have A, my brother-in-law, who like Big Boy is an egghead, would make just about anything work, and has a very potentially useful PhD in engineering.

Other options are R2, who'd likewise be a very good inter-cave delegate, and who'd probably put his mind to anything like fire or tool making that is needed. P is over in the Netherlands but if he wasn't he'd very good on the team, for much the same reasons. J2 is out (much would I be if I had to choose me) along with most other people.

I might also bring Farmer Sharp from Borough Market to butcher our meats.

I'm getting a bit stuck now and might have to think about Bushtuckerman style celebrities...
This is of course an ongoing project and anyone who thinks they have been unfairly missed out please feel free to say why you'd make a good caveman/cavewoman. Of course I'll need more cavewomen because we don't want the (our) club-wealders getting tetchy. I might also want to recruit a dentist and a medical doctor or at least nurse.

Is it only me who thinks about this?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I'm totally freaking out

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:08:34 +0100

I've just had the boiler fixed. The man's demanding £547 for parts and labour. I've managed to get Big Boy off a conference call to speak to him and I'm totally freaking out. I can't believe this.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Things that aren't working today

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:31:33 +0100

My boiler. So I can't wash. And so I have to fork out loads of money to get it fixed.

My laptop. Two key functions aren't working on it, including the icons along the bottom which won't show up, and the windows won't flick around like they usually do or even fricking minimise.

So no, not happy so far today. I have been putting off trying to switch on the other computer in case it's not set up properly as I fear. Much more nonsense, and I'm going back to bed.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: Sensitivity Chip

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:56:26 +0100

What are you most sensitive about?

Is this following on from 'show us your favourite tool' from yesterday?

I'd say about there <points>

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Vox Hunt: Tool Time

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:45:01 +0100

Show us your favorite tool.
Submitted by Maraschino.

Its owner would never let me.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: It's Too Late to Apologize

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:03:49 +0100

Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?

Or it might be nice to ask: has anyone ever done something so good to you that "thanks" wasn't enough?

I'd say yes, quite often, but you can use your imagination to work out what.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Why men just don't get it: example number 1,000,001

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:29:58 +0100

Extract of a conversation earlier (I'm getting dressed ready for work):

Big Boy: You're bum's looking really good at the moment. You should see your bum. It's looking more <cups hands>

Me: Thank you. More...?

Big Boy: More shapely. It's got shape now - it sits up there and doesn't just join with your thighs. You should take a look.

Me: <speechless>

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: Ghost Stories

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:08:25 +0100

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?

As I don't believe in an afterlife, and as I am an atheist, no I don't believe in ghosts. I have however met a couple of ~~liars~~ people in my time who claim to have seen/communicated with them. They said a lot of things, though.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Schmuck

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:20:43 +0100

I feel like such a schmuck this morning. I'm used to noises outside - they happen every now and then with people coming home drunk, arguments in the street, the mentally disabled guy down the road, or more. I presume that if I go out to check I'm going to invite trouble. For the past hour, I lay awake unable to get back to sleep, and tried to decide what sort of person was out there. For an hour, I could have called an ambulance and I didn't. Because I mistook primal moans of pain for sex noises (presuming someone had left their window open). I think the guy's going to be okay - he was still conscious when the ambulance arrived, but I feel like such a schmuck. If it weren't for the fact that Big Boy had to get to work early, who knows what time someone would have helped. Schmuck.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend