Bees!
I'm currently browsing vacancies and have come across one for a Seasonal Bee Inspector. Now I may not like bees - or know anything about them - and I may be in two minds as to whether a bumble bee is a bee or a beetleything in fact, but I wish I could apply for this role. I saw another role earlier for something to do with gorillas. I wish jobs that I could apply for were to do with gorillas - I mean, there's blagging on a CV and then there's pretending you've got anything to do with zoology. Mine's an 'ology' too, but it's not even close to being that one. It's a shame they can't speak, else I could run a social (quasi-)scientific study on something like "Gorillas and Mist: Claims-Making about the dangers of Mist". Life would be much more fun if I could study that.
Today my sister will give birth to another no doubt gorgeous little girl. Her name will be Holly and a picture message will arrive at some point today with her chubby little face. I'll get to meet her on Saturday. I'm very, very excited.
Today I got stung for £10. And I kind of don't have any money for lunch now...
She seemed genuine enough, but I'm too cynical to take things on face value and the fact remains that she got to have £10 of my money and left me with nothing for lunch. I don't know whether I'm supposed to always ignore people when they catch my attention - as there ultimately will be some people who really need help and she might have been one of them - but at the same time I don't like being taken for a mug. I think she was too well practiced - too smooth - with a story too perfect - and said all of the right things to get £10 off me (she wanted me to go to the bank for £22 more) and played into my sense of pity and embarrassment such that I didn't give her my address to send it back to. And she probably wouldn't have anyway. Because after all, if she was genuine then surely she'd have insisted on an address and not just mentioned it once. So basically I don't know. I feel like a bit of a mug. I've got quite a lot of dried fruit, but I will have to count the change at the bottom of my bag so that I feel I have some options. I'm just too proud to draw cash to replace it! That said, I haven't seen her here before and I have been around for a while. Maybe she was genuine and it was her own pride that stopped her insisting on returning it once she'd made the offer once. I wish I weren't so cynical, but then I'd never have any money!
Show us your library card.
Why not? I preferred it when I asked 'show us your lunch', though. That was a much better question. I'm not to blame for this photo, either - it makes me look stooopid.
QOTD: What is your head circumference?
Mine, thank you for asking, is 24 inches. I think that's pretty big for somebody of my uh gendered persuasion. I had to measure it for a graduation cap earlier today. And it's fully achievable around, say, my waist were I to go on a drastic diet. I'm almost tempted... Almost. How big's yours?
I am, I fully admit, usually all talk. Usually 100% whinging talk, but still all talk. When people annoy me, unless I know someone well to whinge to about it seperately, or if I know the person who's done it well enough to say, I'll usually just keep it to myself. I might meet my end one day through shooting people dirty looks, but I don't often say anything when people annoy me. I haven't, for example, said anything to Ms Apple nearby who eats around two apples a day in this otherwise quiet room. Neither did I say anything about her crunching rivitta. I also didn't say anything to the man behind me for humming earlier, and I've never said anything to the man to my right who coughs in a really, really annoying way. But earlier today, I called loudly after someone that she was a 'rude bitch'. She chose, for no obvious reason except that she could, to cut right in front of me (within centimetres) to go through the ticket gate right in front of me when there were several just as easily free nearby. There was no one else around us - just her and I just going through the barriers - several in a row. It was very brazen - and it was oh so satisfying to point it out, even if she did keep on going and not look round (it occurred to me while I was saying it that I didn't know what I'd do if she did look back!). She'd better watch out if I bump into her on the way back - I've been sharpening my pointy elbows all day. Maybe I should even write her name (Rude Bitch) on them in biro.
When people do these things, I have to wonder why they do it. It was a different kind of rudeness - not indifferent, but purposeful. Wanting to get one over on me. "Is it coz I is white?!" - if not, it's something along those lines. Something particular to the situation. There was absolutely no need for her to do it. I wonder.
Elbows at the ready.
Twice in the past half an hour I've had to tell Word what my language settings are. No, thank you yet again, I really do never, ever, ever, ever want to use US English - I don't want z's in everything and I'd like it to be left as it is thank you. I know how to spell 'analyse', 'recognise', and everything else that goes with an s rather than a z. If there was anything - ANYTHING - that I could do to prove this to you, Bill Gates, I would. I really would. I really do think it would be nice if my settings - your settings - could just remember it. Maybe not even from day to day, if this is just far too difficult for you (you and your bugs), but please just for an hour because it never, ever changes and certainly not within that time. Just stop your linguistic colonialism, please. It's never been funny. I really do feel there are enough z words without adding to these, and yes maybe s's are overused (I have two in my own name) but I like them. I really, really like them. They work for me. I can't even say the z in my name if it's too early in the morning, and what with the fact that I learnt to spell twenty years ago I am not about to change. I know you're not either, but that's why I live on this side of the pond. Just allow me my language settings. You might get the next generation to change, but not me and not my kids. My memes are not about to be bred out. Plus with any luck you'll be dead by then. I hate you Bill Gates - I'm far less of a smug philanthropist than you, in fact I'm quite the opposite. You make me rant, Bill Gates. I hate you.
Show us a turkey.
Take your pick:
and no doubt whoever the next leader of the Lib Dems is going to be:
I'm getting a new pink camera soon. I placed the order last night. It's a lovely little thing, although before Big Boy agreed to sharing it he wanted to have a debate on feminism:
Him: Don't you think that feminism kind of rules out getting a pink camera for the sake of it?
Me: I think that feminism gives me the right to choose. And it's pretty.
Him: If you get it, you'll have to tell everyone I was against it, even though it's quite nice.
Me: Oh so I'll get it then... Don't you also think that as a feminist yourself you're allowed a pink camera? Because it's very pretty.
Him: But don't you think that people will think you're a bit silly and girly if you have a pink camera?
Me: I don't think people think I'm soft and fluffy anyway, so I can carry this off quite well.
Him: Good point. No one's going to think that you're a girl!
So it's on its way. 10 megapixels of sheer pink delight. I could have gone for silver or black, but really, who would when offered pink?
Why thank you for asking. Here I have this year's big CD spree in a music store, courtesy of relatives who spend lots of money on just the wrong things. I had to return two DVD boxsets that Big Boy got for his (*sticks in the throat*) 30th birthday and I came out with these little beauties:
(Edit: list: Prodigy - the Singles; Gorillaz - the one with Clint Eastwood on it; Wallflowers, Rebel Sweetheart; Zutons, Tired of Hanging Around; Arctic Monkeys, Favourite Worst Nightmare; Counting Crows, Recovering the Satellites; REM, Automatic for the People.)
And I have therefore a question. When I was very kindly helped to locate the uber-fashionable Arctic Monkeys CD (sing a song of theirs... I can't), I was asked which album I wanted. I said Leave Before the Lights Come On - and he gave me (I've since realised) ... that one that you see there, Favourite Worst Nightmare. I didn't realise at the time, else I would have shown myself to be even more the sort of person who hasn't listened to much music since 1997 by 'correcting' him with what turns out to be the name of a single. So I ask you this - whose silly idea was it to release a single that appeared on neither of the two albums around it? That kind of thinking is enough to catch people like me out.
Is there anything better than a pile of new albums*?
*obviously, I have not waited until now to listen to Automatic for the People. I've just only had it on tape before now. But ho! - the Prodigy. I so rawk! Naturally I had to ask which category I'd find Prodigy in (Dance? I'd never have guessed it). Someone really ought to categorise things according to how I see them:1. Good old eighties cheesy pop songs.
2. Nirvana and the like. (Things I have liked in the past and things I like now - including Abba and Neil Diamond)
3. Metal.
4. Things I haven't heard of (most things).
Then I might step foot in music stores more often to get ideas of what to buy off Amazon.
